Huhne Charged Taxpayers For Servicing Dodgy Old Boiler!

It has been revealed that Liberal Democrat love cheat MP Chris Huhne charged British taxpayers for servicing a dodgy old boiler. The task was included among others in a £1,500 bill he submitted as part of his parliamentary expenses last April.

What is not clear from his expense claim is which of his two dodgy old boilers he was claiming for.

He has a 57-year-old boiler installed at the Clapham home he has been sharing with his wife of 26 years - Vicky Pryce. It is believed to be a "FridgidAire" model which often lives up to its name after several years of usage and becomes icy to the touch.


And he has a 44-year-old boiler at the Eastleigh constituency he is using for love trysts with his lesbian mistress - Carina Trimingham. That boiler is believed to be a slightly newer model that operates off AC/DC power.


It may be a "Dyke-son" - designed by British design whiz Sir James Dyke-son - who also pioneered the concept of not having to get replacement bags for appliances that do a lot of sucking. His slogan "say goodbye to the bag" has proved very popular with frisky middle-age men who like to count their pennies...


We await with interest to learn which of Huhne's two dodgy old boilers got fixed up at our expense.

Meanwhile his expenses bill also included charges for some mastic work, a bit of grouting, some overhauling, applying paint to cover up ugly cracks, something brassy that had to be fixed and an investigation into a "rad" (an abbreviation for "radical") "in the kitchen which isn't working".

A lot of baby-boomer men find that the radical they installed in their kitchen in the 1980s starts to pack up after a few years and refuses to work.

In 2007 - Huhne Publicly Pledged "No Affairs & No Sex Scandals"!

Chris Huhne didn't just lie to his wife and five children for the last two and half years as he carried on his clandestine affair with his lesbian "girlfriend" - but he also broke a public pledge made in October 2007 that he would not disgrace his party or constituents by cheating on his wife or getting involved in a sex scandal like his colleague and fellow Hampshire Liberal Democrat MP Mark Oaten.

Ironically, Huhne made the pledge in a press interview set up by Carina Trimingham - the very person with whom he broke his pledge just three months later.


The pledge was made in an interview with Chris Semple a top journalist with the premier Hampshire daily newspaper - the Southern Daily Echo in October 2007. The occasion for the interview was part of Huhne's campaign to win the leadership of the Liberal Democrats. Semple conducted a wide-ranging interview about Huhne's claim to be the most suited to lead the Liberal Democrats into the next General Election and a victory that would make Huhne Prime Minister.

The story - with a title that openly mocked Huhne's legendary high self-regard - the headline was: "Is This The Man To Save Our Planet?" - was published on Sunday 21st October 2007.

The writer specifically asked Huhne about the then recent downfall of Huhne's Hampshire colleague, friend and fellow Liberal Democrat MP - Mark Oaten. Just months earlier, Oaten's political career and party leadership aspirations had imploded when the News Of The World (the same paper that recently exposed Huhne's adulterous affair) revealed that Oaten - whose public image was that of a very happily-married family man with 2 kids - had cheated on his wife with someone a bit younger than his wife - who also happened to be a rent boy.

Oaten had also engaged in three-in-a-bed romps and had been on the receiving end of multiple acts of gross humiliation that the newspaper referred to as "a bizarre sex act too revolting to describe." One of his rent boys - a 25 year-old Polish ballet dancer stated delicately: "he was very specific about something special he wanted us to do to him. It's a gross act of humiliation which only a few 'punters' ask for. Quite revolting really".

SPOILER ALERT
(this revelation of Oaten's predilection may spoil your appetite)
The act that Oaten begged for was coprophilia in which the rent boys would both empty their bowels on him. In effect using Oaten as a toilet bowl.

("eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!")

The revelations apparently put a slight dent in the image of the Liberal Democrats - particularly in Hampshire.

Given the sensitivity about MPs (especially Liberal Democrats) who promoted themselves as happily-married men with kids - turning out to have a penchant for adulterous sex - especially with lovers who are younger and more butch-looking than their wives - Semple specifically pressed Huhne about his personal life and his marriage.

The story - which is still available online - included a direct quote from Huhne in response to Semple's question.

Mr Huhne also promised not to repeat the situation that developed last time a Hampshire Liberal Democrat was poised to stand for the party's leadership. That situation led to the public humiliation of Winchester's MP Mark Oaten over allegations he had used male prostitutes.

"I'm very comfortable with my life, so nothing like that will emerge," he said.

In fairness to Huhne - in his mind he has not broken his pledge.

Yes he has broken his marital vows - but unlike Mark Oaten, as far as we know he has not engaged in sex with male prostitutes.

While some have unkindly said that Huhne's lesbian girlfriend looks rather like a Polish rent-boy, no one has yet accused her of resembling a ballet dancer.



And there is certainly one crucial difference between the affairs of Oaten and Huhne.

With Oaten, it was he who (at his own request) was crapped on.

With Huhne, it is his wife of 26 years, his five kids and his 80,000 constituents who have been shat on...

And falls!!! Huhne Outed As Love-Rat & Cheat

It didn't take long!

Just one month after climbing on Nick Clegg's back to slither into government, slimy Chris Huhne has had his true colours revealed. The News of the World has discovered that he has been cheating on his beautiful and long-suffering wife Vicky Pryce with a flibberty-gibbet piece of crumpet that he picked up while he was campaigning for the party leadership.

His poor wife. (Well not THAT poor! As Huhne boasted to the Independent in 2008: "I have a very hard-working and extremely intelligent wife, who manages to earn far more than I do."

But poor in the way that after 3 kids and 26 years of marriage - and sinking her money into helping him get out of journalism into City-slicking then into politics - she gets shafted all because Huhne fancies a younger bird. How bloody predictable. You would have thought that a bug-eyed lowlife like Huhne could have been a little more original.

That's not how Huhne wooed Vicky when he seduced her in 1982 and got her to dump her loyal and faithful first husband who had set Vicky up for success. (By the way Vicky's first husband, who was an academic at LSE, is a truly lovely gent who has never stopped loving Vicky even though she betrayed him for the excremental Chris Huhne.)

Think about Vicky's poor kids. The two delightful kids from her first marriage Alexandra and Georgia who refused to take Huhne's name and have always hated him. They wil rally round their mum. They always feared that Slimy Huhne would hurt their mum. How sad for them that they were right.

And what of the three kids that Vicky had with Huhne - Nicholas, Lydia and Peter - as he built-up the nuclear family that he thought would make him such a photogenic Prime Minister (oh he boasted about that among his pals - everyone in his circle knows about that!).

As Huhne tells YouTube viewers:

"I think that fathers' role in parenting is absolutely crucial. I've brought up five children and I regret frankly that through much of my career I've not been able to find as much time as I should have done to spend with my children... Relationships, including particularly family relationships, are actually the most important things in making people happy and fulfilled..."

Maybe now that he doesn't have to send so much time hypocritically posing as a loving husband he can spend a little more time with his "five" children. He won't have to spend TOO much time. His wife's two daughters Alex and Georgia still refuse to have anything to do with him. And the other three kids he did spawn - who by his own admission he ignored much of the time while he was busy hoovering up money in the City - well they know what a rat he is. And their sympathies lie with their mother who Huhne has spat out like a well-chewed moneypot. Which quite frankly is what several of Pryce's closest pals always feared was the true way Huhne regarded his rich wife.

So now the oleaginous Huhne has some new booty to frolic with.

Let's see what more dirt surfaces about this piece of crap who is such a disgrace to our party...